I’ve felt something of late, something that I have known about, and read about but never really felt until now. That is, how vulnerable we can feel about our looks as we age. Yes, I’ve had my ‘omg look at the state of me’ moments but they have been fleeting, nothing has really stuck until now.
To explain, I am a late arrival when it comes to using social media, and a complete newbie when it comes to using social media to advertise and promote my small business. Being completely outside of my comfort zone, I’ve avoided it like the plague. Hearing about some of the ‘overshares’, who’s having chips for tea, the fall outs, and the lack of privacy, I’ve been quite happy staying in my shell.
However, I got to a place where I recognised that if I want to succeed in growing my business and ‘putting myself out there’, I needed to have a social media presence. All guns blazing, I’ve gone for it, even receiving credit for how well I’m doing. Breathing a sigh of relief… “that wasn’t so bad after all”.
That is until I started to watch my own videos (in fine detail). Beyond listening to what I was saying (just to make sure I was making some sort of sense) I began to look at myself very closely. I saw wrinkles, red blotchy skin (I have rosacea) and not-so-white teeth. Panic!!! I need to be smoother, whiter, brighter and whilst I’m at it why did I only get 564 likes for that post when yesterday I got 630!
Woah now, hold up… what on earth!!! I’m caring about things I’ve never paid so much attention to before (maybe the rosacea I have). I’m becoming obsessed with things I’ve previously rolled my eyes at, likes ha! The worst however is the shift in my energy, the heaviness I’ve carried at ‘getting on a bit’. My energy is drained, and my mindset is negative. Stop this!!!
I am blessed to have had 43 complete years of life with the 44th currently in the making. Not everyone gets this lucky, my life is a gift. How dare I criticise my hard-earned laughter lines; how dare I look at my healthy teeth and complain. All that I am, and all that I have deserves celebration not condemnation. I feel ashamed.
Now, I am all for looking good in whatever way that works for you but there must be some balance. How you choose to present is your choice and no-one else’s, look good for you and you alone. If you start to notice a shift in your mindset, an obsession for things that never were ‘a thing’ before, pay attention. Take a step back, share your thoughts with someone you trust.
I don’t blame social media for this, by the way, I am simply paying attention to my own vulnerabilities. The miss-step I took was to pay attention to, and to focus on things that REALLY don’t matter. To age is a gift and we are all miracles in the making. Our vulnerabilities are our strengths not our weaknesses.